For my final adventure, I set off to derive, and found myself back on the millennium bridge (I swear I didn’t mean to). I was watching the moon dance on the water, and I felt so unbearably sad. This is honestly not really about the bridge, but being on the bridge inspired these feelings. Plus, I feel like it is a good ending to this blog. The following is what I wrote:
“I’m on the millennium bridge and I know this is a stupid place to journal, I know, but I just saw the most beautiful sunset – it looked like the sky was on fire. It scared me. It really did, and I realized that I haven’t stopped to watch the sunset. It’s week 9, and this is the first sunset I’ve seen on this side of the globe. It makes me want to cry. And I’m on the bridge and I’m watching the way the water moves – it shimmers. The water back home doesn’t move like this. It doesn’t sparkle or dance like this. It’s calming. And it’s getting darker and all the city light are coming on, and I don’t want to leave. I know it’s not true, not really, but I feel like London is my home. There’s so much I haven’t seen and so much haven’t done and I know I won’t be able to do it all. How can I possibly leave? This magical place where the sky burns and the water dances and the city sings to me?
It feels like none of this is real, like none of this happened to me. It’s like I haven’t even been here and now that I’ve arrived, my time is up. Nothing feels real, and I wish so badly that it did. Good things like this don’t really happen to me. It feels like I’m in a snow globe or something, and someone keeps shaking it from time to time, just to keep of the illusion of snow falling. And I would stay in that little snow globe forever, I really would, but I can’t shake the feeling that the glass is about to break.”